Day Three, July 2nd, 4:33pm.
Went to work today, and it started out okay, got busy workin' and getting
things done, and then something snapped in my brain and I had a killer anxiety
attack, and started losin' it on people. Thanks to the best boss ever, I'm at
home now. It just came out of nowhere, and I hate that. So I took an ativan, which has become my crutch,
and am laying down for a wee bit, before tackling my office.
I cannot wait for the Internet tomorrow. Like, need it. I don't even give
a fuck about it being bad for me, and how I need to disconnect from my devices.
All that can shut the fuck up for a minute. I wanna surf the web, and look shit
up, and watch Netflix at bedtime so I'm excited to get some internets
happening.
I will slowly detach from the computer, I just need a crutch right now,
and it's to me what weed and drinking is to other people. Stress releasing for
sure.
Having Ally (named changed for privacy) in my life again has lighten the load quite a bit, knowing
she's here for me when I need her, and I have her again to talk to everyday
like we always have. God I missed that.
I also need a new job. I need to make a lot more money and fast track
buying a house as soon as this year is up. I wanna travel somewhere warm, and
take Ally with me, and buy a house by mid 2014. Probably won't happen until
2015 but I can dream, lol. But I'm determined on a trip by spring, at least. And the
beauty is, she doesn't drink, and neither do I. Ahhhhhh. Just need to go chill
the fuck out in a hammock somewhere for a week and not beb othered by anyone
except the sexy cabana boy, bringing me a fresh virgin piña colada.
Sigh.........sleepy time.
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