Over the past week, i have reached my maximum limit for bullshit. I've not only discovered that John was dating his skeeze-homewrecker-teen-slut, Amber Pfohl, or is it Amber Wilson according to facebook.... not changing her name cuz she's a little homewrecker, and homewreckers should be shot and pissed on......ever since mid-May (we were still very much together, living together, the whole deal) but possibly sooner. She knew we were still together, and is a little fucking skank. Anyway, he dropped his bomb about wanting a "healing separation" on May 4th. This, amongst about 100 other new pieces of devastating information, discovered from Shane and Lorri whom i'll explain in a sec, have made me reach my absolute max. I simply cannot hear any more information.
I have re-kindled my friendship with Shane and Lorri (names changed for privacy) whom were told by John not to talk to me, and that i hated them. They too were told i was mad at them and I didn't want to hear from them either. John was actively keeping us from communicating. Well, when i discovered he's been having an affair this whole time, i contacted them because i emailed his girlfriend. I knew once he found out (or so i thought) he would have an emotional break and need support. During my contact with Shane and Lorri, all of this new information came out. There was so emotional break and no support needed, because he's a smooth operator, and lied his way out of his affair/lies/cheating/bullshit somehow, and Amber bought it. What a stupid ass little homewrecker. Fucking asshats, both of them.
But now i need to place John, and all of his bullshit, on a shelf. I have no choice but to deal with him further due to money issues, but for now, i'm taking a break from him. I'm going to do my very best, to simply not think about or talk about John L. Bishop. (name not changed, cuz as i've said before, who gives a flying fuck about his privacy). He has consumed more than his fair share of my heart, and my life, and i am choosing to put a stop to it. As best i can. Until mid-september at least.... or as long as my Mom is willing to not take him to court. That's a story for another day.
It's good to know though; all this new information. It really is. I am more solidified than i have ever been, that he is dead to me. Before all of this, i will admit, that just a 0.01% little piece of my heart still had faith, that maybe in a few years........ NOPE.
Being THIS done, actually feels good. I feel good knowing it's over with, and i never ever have to be made to feel like an old, used dirty rag, ever again.
I've also been on POF alot lately, and have been talking to many guys, the count has reached like 30 now of the men who have come and gone...... but this one man, not boy, MAN, has stuck with me, still talking every single day, and still comfortable as ever..... we'll call him Jeff, for his privacy.
Jeff is a calm, quiet, easy going man, with really great interests, and a gentle soul. He's polite, and soft and genuine, honest and even timid at a times. I clearly realize i've not met him yet, and i'm only judging by our many talks.....but i have gotten a good feel for his personality so far, and so far, i'm hooked!
And he's hot. Hot as hell. And i'm gonna bite him.
Off to work now! Slowly but surely, somehow, someway, life is going to be good again.... even if it kills me.
M
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